ABOUT UNICORN
This play was set off by a friend’s young nephew asking how one might go about catching a unicorn. His ideas chiefly consisted of setting various traps. (A fragment of that still survives in the play) But I was adamant at the time that a unicorn could not be caught.
I suppose stylistic inspirations would be “The Little Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry. Also Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream’. I was additionally very much taken with T. S. Elliot’s “Sweeney Agonistes.’ I would say there is also the influence of Charles Dickens’ “Great Expectations” in the storyline.
Scene 1
SHINTARO’S BEDROOM
Ten-year-old SHINTARO lies sleeping to one side of the stage. UNICORN stands in a single spot of light and addresses the audience.
UNICORN Good evening, gentlefolk. Tonight
we have a boy who dreams. Not dreams
of bats and balls, or minor things,
but unicorns. Watch how he stirs.
A world wakes within that errs
towards fantastical, not the norm.
Tonight, dear gentlefolk, we have a boy—
a boy who dreams of unicorns.
[UNICORN departs as two angels, REMI and ESTELLE, appear. REMI is quite cynical, ESTELLE more optimistic. As they speak, we see through the window the sun rising.]
ESTELLE This jaded city wakes today,
forgetting yesterday and may
forget today.
REMI Thought in traction.
ESTELLE Street smells ferment in wearisome heat.
The world stirs, revolves—but sleeps.
REMI Alas, inaction.
[ESTELLE addresses SHINTARO who is beginning to stir.]
ESTELLE Arising from your bed, you yawn.
REMI And gazing on this lazing dawn …
ESTELLE Your senses warn
of what the day will bring to you.
REMI But first a guide:
[ESTELLE holds a mirror to SHINTARO’S face.]
ESTELLE He is smiling with you,
wherever you go.
Meet your mind, say:
SHINTARO Hello.
ESTELLE An answer! You have a friend.
SHINTARO Just one?
ESTELLE Yes, just one, but one will do
to while away an hour or two
on the boardwalk by the strand,
while this lazy city chooses busy—
REMI But is nothing quite so grand.
[To ESTELLE] Estelle, a short retraction?
[ESTELLE turns to SHINTARO apologetically]
ESTELLE Oh yes, this city, Remi—did I say it wakes today?
[SHINTARO nods.]
ESTELLE Oh no, it never wakes.
It aches.
REMI Aches.
ESTELLE & REMI Aches.
[REMI and ESTELLE fade into darkness.]
SHINTARO How do you catch a unicorn?
[A spotlight on the other side of the stage now reveals a kitchen where MAX, a rotund gentleman, is breakfasting with FUCHSIA and GLADYS.]
MAX Shintaro, breakfast is on the table!
SHINTARO Coming, Uncle.
[SHINTARO’S light follows him as he crosses the stage and enters the kitchen.]
MAX Shintaro, your Aunt Fuchsia and Aunt Gladys are here.
FUCHSIA Hello, Shintaro. My, how you’ve grown.
GLADYS My, how he’s grown. Give us a kiss, dear.
FUCHSIA Right here, on the cheek, dear.
SHINTARO Aunt Gladys, Aunt Fuchsia, how do you catch a unicorn?
GLADYS What a funny question!
FUCHSIA Yes, it is a funny question.
MAX Why do you want a unicorn so much, Shintaro?
SHINTARO Because if I just had a unicorn, Uncle, everything would be okay. Mum says unicorns are magical. Everything they touch, turns to gold.
MAX You don’t want a unicorn, my boy. At your age [turning to FUCHSIA and GLADYS]—yes, even at his age—[back to SHINTARO] you should be thinking bigger things.
SHINTARO What like, Uncle?
MAX What you want, my boy, is stocks. Start investing. Right now. Set aside five dollars a week. Come twenty-one, you’ll be a millionaire.
SHINTARO Uncle?
MAX Yes, lad?
SHINTARO With these millions …?
MAX Yes?
SHINTARO Can I buy a unicorn?
MAX Damn you, boy, your selfishness! No you can’t buy a unicorn. You’ve got to stop this foolishness, Shintaro. I know kids are naturally self-absorbed, but with your mother sick enough to be just about …
SHINTARO Yes?
MAX You can’t catch a unicorn, Shintaro. Forget it.
SHINTARO But, Uncle, if you can’t—
MAX Forget it! [Pause] I have …
SHINTARO What?
MAX … got to go.
FUCHSIA Max, would you be a dear and tell us the weather.
GLADYS Whether the weather is hot?
FUCHSIA Or not?
MAX All you need know, Ladies,
is that the forecast is fiscally good.
SHINTARO What’s that mean, Uncle?
MAX It’s weather in a book.
[He opens a door to the outside.]
See, take a look.
The market booms, add on those rooms
you always meant to have.
Invest some money, buy some shares,
build up the business and sell the wares.
Install an inside lav’.
FUCHSIA Then comes high inflation.
MAX Which is lowered by privatisation.
GLADYS Boom. But what happens when there are no more assets left to sell?
FUCHSIA Dole.
GLADYS Welfare.
FUCHSIA Slump.
GLADYS Recession.
FUCHSIA Depression.
[Pause.]
MAX Bah! Ignore those two, Shintaro. Go for a house over a unicorn any day. Remember this: If you can’t sell it, it isn’t worth anything.
[MAX, FUCHSIA and GLADYS freeze. We jump forward ten years.]
Scene 2
SALES ROOM
SHINTARO is now twenty years old. LANGER is revving up his workers (among them ALEX and SHINTARO) for a day of selling. MAX remains one side, still lit, while FUCHSIA and GLADYS are now in darkness—all three perfectly still.
LANGER Did you hear that, guys? ‘If you can’t sell it, it isn’t worth anything!’ [Pointing to MAX] Pretty wise words from the founder of this company, the great … but late … Max Beauchamp. Good morning, all!
[On the word ‘late’ MAX bows his head and the light on him dims. He steps back to stand with FUCHSIA and GLADYS.]
ALL Good morning, Langer!
Ra, ra, ra!
We’re here to make money
but that means hard work,
but hard work’s money!
LANGER Okay, Dexter over there waving at me … what is it? We’ve got a new recruit in today? [Turning to Shintaro] What’s your name?
SHINTARO Shintaro.
LANGER Shintaro! Ah. [Turning to the others] Know who this guy is? He’s the godson of Father Max! Max Beauchamp! What a privilege! Okay if I call you Shinty? Okay, Shint, we’ve interviewed a lot of wannabes and you’re one of the lucky few invited to join our team. How do you feel about that? Pretty excited?
SHINTARO Well, I … um …
LANGER Three cheers for Shinty, everyone.
ALL Oi, oi, oi!
LANGER What a team you’ve joined! Okay, I’ve just been to an owners’ meeting. And what a feeling of expansion in the air. Unbelievable! More people are making more money, more money than ever before. And how’d they get there? Well, they started like youse guys. Door to door salesmanship. And that’s hard work. But man, I’d rather work now and retire early than work all my life. Geez, my goal – and you need a goal – is to retire at thirty-five. Then I’m gonna drive past my schoolmates, still at their nine-to-five jobs, in my [dramatic pause] Ferrari [applause] and stick these two fingers up at ’em. Boy, wouldn’t that be good? Wouldn’t it? And there’s no reason all of youse can’t do the same.
ALL Right on! Go for it, Langers!
LANGER But what you’re gonna need to get there?
ALL Stickativity!
Ra, ra, ra!
We’re here to make money
but that means hard work,
but hard work’s money!
LANGER Okay, let’s share some success stories. Alex, come forward.
[All high-five]
ALL Go, Alexi mate! Good one!
LANGER Top contender for Rookie Manager of the Year, this guy! In his last twelve months, Alex has pushed the Applications Division into bigger areas. Expanded everywhere! He and Paul—who’s working deals in Perth currently—have pushed the business inta new areas up and down the west coast. Between them, they’ve made one hundred and thirty thousand profit. And that ain’t bad for a former chem. student and brickie’s labourer. You gonna tell us the secret, Alex?
ALEX Well, Mr Langers, you know ya just can’t sit back and expect it ta happen. You gotta make it happen to yaself.
[General cheers]
LANGER And what does that take?
ALL Stickativity!
LANGER Okay, last year was big but how much bigger is this one gonna be?
ALL Humungous!
LANGER Right on, humungous! Just keep to ya goals and we’ll set a goal for the biggest year ever! So get out there today and sell, sell, sell, ya movers and shakers!
[All except LANGER and SHINTARO depart eagerly.]
Shinty, mate, what you waiting for? Dex will show you the ropes. Get yourself through that door!
[SHINTARO exits one side of stage, LANGER the other.]
Scene 3
DRAWING ROOM
MAX, FUCHSIA and GLADYS are illuminated. Boy SHINTARO is with them.
MAX Yes, Shintaro, come twenty-one you’ll be making a mint.
You’ll be working in my business, and I’ll be a retiree in luxury.
Yes, come twenty-one, you’ll be well on your way
to never having to work a day.
If only I started early.
Yes, if only I’d started as young as you are now.
FUCHSIA Max, he might not want to be rich.
GLADYS No, he might not care.
SHINTARO This morning I dreamed a wonderful dream.
FUCHSIA Vivid?
SHINTARO What’s that mean?
GLADYS True.
FUCHSIA So vivid it had to be true!
MAX No more! Enough!
To say that a dream
can come true
is to imply
that a dream is a lie.
Get moving, Shintaro. You’ve got school to attend.
[MAX puts a satchel under one of SHINTARO’S arms and an apple in the other hand before turning him around and pushing him into a march. The lights go out on MAX, FUCHSIA and GLADYS, while a single light shows SHINTARO walking a few paces before stopping.]
SHINTARO A dream is a dream is a dream is a dream—
[REMI and ESTELLE appear magically beside him.]
ESTELLE —come true!
SHINTARO I wondered if you’d come back.
ESTELLE Remi and I never left, Shintaro. It was you who went away.
SHINTARO Uncle Max summoned me to breakfast.
REMI That will do it, a summons to breakfast.
ESTELLE Almost anything will do it.
REMI Estelle, it’s so hard to find this garden, and yet so easy to lose it.
ESTELLE Are you going to stay a while this time?
SHINTARO I have to go to school.
ESTELLE The leaders of my school
knew no worth except the time it stood.
They formed Tradition’s Fool
and could not add the newer to the good.
REMI That is true, Estelle.
But they did teach us our ten times table:
this and that, this and that.
I am this, this and that.
SHINTARO That’s not the ten times table. [Proving the point] One ten is ten. Two tens are twenty. Three tens are –
REMI —plenty.
SHINTARO Wait! I go up to twelve tens are a hundred and twenty!
REMI Shintaro, Estelle and I have a terrible problem. We can only learn what interests us.
ESTELLE But what doesn’t, we can’t. So that what we are, we are.
REMI Once upon a time
two ravens were black.
So too are we, we …
if we think to be.
Why are you here, Shintaro?
ESTELLE Yes, Shintaro, no one has ever come to our magical garden who didn’t have a terribly important question to ask.
REMI You have a question for us, Shintaro?
[SHINTARO nods. The lights dim.]
Scene 4
SALES ROOM
A light reveals twenty-year old SHINTARO talking with LANGER and DEXTER.
LANGER Say, Shinty mate, Dex’ tells me you’re turning into one of our star recruits. Closing deals left, right and centre. Winning over those clients easy-peasy. Way to go, mate!
SHINTARO Um, when do we get—?
LANGER All on commission. A lot’s changed since Max carked it—uh, sorry, passed away. But hey, the way you’re reelin’ ’em in, you’re laughing. How does it feel to be part of such a super team?
SHINTARO Pretty good. I’m—
LANGER Hey, saw you reading some romance rot before, on your lunch break. So let me give you some good advice. Leave that stuff to the ladies and go take a look at the books in my office, if you’re starved of literature. They’ve been written by some of the richest men ever—so they’ve gotta be onta something, right?
SHINTARO Thankyou, I will. I was just—
LANGER Hey, gotta go, Shint. Time is money. But Shinty, you’re on the up and that makes you my kind of bloke. Not like these galahs who are content to stay at the bottom. Anyway, look, some of the owners are having a bash Friday, so why don’t you come along? Girlfriends and wives accepted. I’ll see you there.
SHINTARO I don’t actually—
LANGER Dex, mate, my jacket.
[DEXTER picks up LANGER’S jacket and subserviently puts it on him. LANGER leaves.]
DEXTER Shintaro!
SHINTARO Yes!
DEXTER A secret for a secret?
SHINTARO What?
DEXTER Langer wears Pierre Cardin.
SHINTARO I’m sorry?
DEXTER Well, no surprise that’s the sort of clothes he’d wear—he’s a real achiever.
SHINTARO How do you know what he wears?
DEXTER We-ell, with a man like him, when I get my hands on any of their stuff …
SHINTARO Yes?
DEXTER I look at the labels! Shall I take your coat for you?
SHINTARO No!
[SHINTARO pulls his tattered jacket closer. DEXTER shrugs and begins to leave but stops halfway to the door.]
DEXTER Oh, I almost forgot. What’s your secret?
SHINTARO My secret?
DEXTER Remember: a secret for a secret.
SHINTARO I haven’t got one.
DEXTER Yes you do.
SHINTARO No I don’t.
DEXTER Yes you do, and I bet I know what it is.
SHINTARO What?
DEXTER You’re single.
SHINTARO No.
DEXTER Tell you what, I’ll set you up with Joss’ flatmate, Carmen. She looks good on an arm.
SHINTARO Who’s Joss?
DEXTER My woman. Who’s Carmen? Her friend—and the Managing Director’s daughter to boot! As simple as your ten-times table.
SHINTARO Oh!
DEXTER Oh what?
SHINTARO That just gave me déjà vu.
DEXTER Dayjar who?
SHINTARO A minute, and I might remember.
[SHINTARO and DEXTER freeze in position. The lights dim on them.]
Scene 5
MAGIC GARDEN
The lights brighten on REMI, ESTELLE and boy SHINTARO, all positioned exactly as we last saw them.
REMI Come on then?
SHINTARO I’m thinking.
ESTELLE Remi, he’s thinking. That’s why he dreamt us in his dream.
He had an important question, perhaps the most important question.
And that’s why he dreamt us in his dream.
SHINTARO Now I remember!
REMI & ESTELLE Yes?
SHINTARO How do you catch a unicorn?
[REMI and ESTELLE regard each other with an air of stunned incredulity.]
REMI & ESTELLE What do you mean, how do you catch a unicorn?
ESTELLE Is this a joke?
SHINTARO No.
REMI It isn’t very funny.
ESTELLE Remi, we haven’t heard the punch-line yet.
SHINTARO It’s not a joke.
REMI Then the answer’s no: you can’t catch a unicorn.
SHINTARO But what if you dug a big, big hole and laid sticks over the top?
ESTELLE Then you’d have a big, big hole but with no unicorn at the bottom.
SHINTARO Why not?
REMI & ESTELLE You can’t catch a unicorn.
SHINTARO But … but you said I’d have a big, big hole still, but you didn’t say there’d be sticks on top, so something must’ve fallen in.
ESTELLE Oh well, I’m not saying you wouldn’t have sheep, wombats, parking inspectors, taxidermists and flight attendants in there. You just wouldn’t have any unicorns, that’s all.
SHINTARO Why not?
REMI & ESTELLE You can’t catch a unicorn.
ESTELLE When I was a girl I often shed tears.
REMI Were they
unwarranted tears or prescient fears?
ESTELLE The world goes full of years.
When I was young, alone in my bed,
I feared
my parents would die, alone I would cry.
REMI Were they
unwarranted tears or prescient fears?
ESTELLE Useless, useless tears.
[REMI and ESTELLE depart, obviously feeling they have made their point. SHINTARO runs after them.]
SHINTARO Hey, wait! There must be a—
[SHINTARO jumps back in fright as a creature leaps at him. The creature is FROG. SHINTARO runs the other way and knocks into a similar creature, CLAG.]
CLAG Hey, growing child, whoah, stop!
It’s to adulthood you’ll drop.
[SHINTARO again changes direction, but FROG grabs him]
FROG Hey little child,
slightly gone wild
in youth,
do you know
who you are,
what you have
and whether far
you’ll go?
SHINTARO No!
[SHINTARO again tires to flee and this time CLAG grabs him.]
CLAG Hey little child
with temperament mild,
Your mind we will weather
and child’s thoughts, light as a feather,
shall quickly assume
in the enlargening boom
an incredible weight of what’s what!
SHINTARO Leave me alone.
FROG Leave him alone!
SHINTARO Who are you?
GLAG Frog and Clag.
FROG Clag and Frog.
CLAG We’re the ones who never woke up.
SHINTARO Why?
FROG Because of what they said.
SHINTARO Who said?
FROG They said.
SHINTARO And what did they say?
CLAG & FROG They said not to lean to the right.
SHINTARO The right?
CLAG & FROG Ha! This they said
having always leaned to the left.
SHINTARO The left?
CLAG & FROG Having always leaned to the left.
Talk, talk, talk,
till their tongues felt heavy as lead.
Talk, talk, talk,
just nonsense the words that they said.
SHINTARO Leave me alone!
FROG Leave him alone?
CLAG What’s to fear, what’s to dread
but, ever and anon, a stream in your head.
SHINTARO You’re mad!
CLAG Oh no, not mad, not me, no soul entombed, preservéd dead.
No fear, you see, I sit beside
a stream of thoughts, unbidden, wide,
inside my head;
beside a stream beholding thoughts
unread.
[CLAG grips his head in pain. SHINTARO is at first concerned, and then increasingly unnerved.]
SHINTARO Are you okay?
CLAG No, fine, I’m feeling fine, please understand it’s me.
My hand entraps such drowning thoughts!
Ah, such thoughts, such feelings wrought
From liquid reverie;
hearkening to a world of lock
and lea.
FROG See how his hand ensnares a thought,
marring the progress of others?
And how another thought is caught?
What was the old it smothers?
CLAG What thought, that slithers from the bough?
Oh God, I see it now!
It’s the thought that takes the form
of a fat and blooded worm …
which scratches, latches
Onto my body, burnt by matches.
I feel it kill me, will me
with energy dead.
Its breath of onion
smarts my head.
FROG In shape, what does this thing confirm?
CLAG Articulated like a worm
(but with scales, spikes, and painted fangs)
it feeds on guilt and mortal pangs.
FROG And how you strive to look away!
CLAG But no, the mind’s aware
by the hunger, by the wear—
God, the mind, unruly, knows
by the iron, as it glows,
with the torture, with the flare—
that the worm’s about to close.
FROG Yet can you flee or quietly stray?
CLAG No, the mind it fully feels
by the slicing, by the weals—
God, the mind appreciates
by the serpent, how it hates—
that, cut up, the skin but seals
to a stronger form and fate.
FROG Yes, the worm has come and the worm is great.
CLAG But that it would come, I guess I knew.
Whilst skirted in my thoughts it grew,
and though I’ve sliced it through and through,
the many bits have fused anew.
FROG It grows.
CLAG Dear God, this worm will me undo!
[All three stare at each other in silence for a time, SHINTARO clearly a little unnerved.]
SHINTARO What do you mean by worm?
FROG Worm is another name for serpent.
SHINTARO Well, how do you kill this serpent?
CLAG You kill the serpent by catching a unicorn.
SHINTARO But how do you catch a unicorn?
FROG & CLAG [Impatiently] YOU CAN’T CATCH A UNICORN!
[FROG and CLAG depart. SHINTARO is left flabbergasted as the lights dim on him.]
Scene 6
DEXTER’S PAD
The lights rise on DEXTER entertaining CARMEN.
CARMEN So you say he’s a catch?
DEXTER Certainly.
CARMEN What’s his name?
DEXTER Shintaro.
CARMEN Shintaro? That’s a bit foreign-sounding, isn’t it?
DEXTER Oh, but he’s true blue. And he needs a date for the owner’s dinner.
CARMEN Well, tell me what’s he like. Come on, give us the goss’.
DEXTER His godfather used to own the business.
CARMEN Who? Max the almighty? Wasn’t he a bit odd?
DEXTER Yes, but Shintaro’s fine, I assure you. No blood relation. And he’s asked about you.
CARMEN Really?
DEXTER Really.
CARMEN Tell me, tell me, tell me! What did he say?!
[DEXTER whispers in her ear. CARMEN whoops with excitement.]
CARMEN Wait till I tell Joss and the others! They’ll die! They’ll just die! Come on, tell me more!
DEXTER [Mimicking her hysteria] I can’t!
CARMEN You love to torture me like this.
DEXTER I looked up his file—which of course I shouldn’t have.
CARMEN Oh never mind that.
DEXTER And he earns ten grand less commission than me.
CARMEN Oh.
DEXTER But that’s still acceptable—just. Well … if you count my commission as adequate.
CARMEN Where does he live?
DEXTER Nunawading.
CARMEN Nunawading? What kind of life could you live there?
[There is a knock at the door.]
DEXTER You’re about to find out.
[SHINTARO enters. A woman (JOSS) is with him.]
JOSS [Referring to SHINTARO] I found this on the doorstep. Yours?
SHINTARO I was knocking.
CARMEN We’re three stories up.
DEXTER Shintaro, this is Carmen. You’ve met Joss obviously.
SHINTARO Hello, Carmen.
DEXTER [To JOSS] How was work, Dear?
JOSS Had this teenager come in with a snapped wrist. Waited six hours before he decided he’d better come in and have it looked at. Six hours. I mean, did he think it might get better by itself?
SHINTARO Oh, you’re a GP, Joss?
JOSS GP? Never. You’d see the same patients over and over. And I don’t want to see them again if they haven’t gotten better. I’m Emergency.
DEXTER We have an emergency ourselves: getting to this dinner on time, ladies. [Glancing at SHINTARO] Oops, sorry, and gentleman.
[They start to leave.]
CARMEN Gentleman? Shintaro, you look like you could still be in high school. How old are you?
SHINTARO Twenty. Nearly twenty-one. How old are you?
[SHINTARO, DEXTER, CARMEN and JOSS exit together.]
Scene 7
LIVING ROOM
Boy SHINTARO and MAX enter from opposite sides of the stage.
MAX What was that?
SHINTARO I said, how old are you, Uncle?
MAX Older than you.
SHINTARO How old’s that?
MAX Don’t answer back.
SHINTARO Why not?
MAX Because I told you so.
SHINTARO Why have you told me so?
MAX Because I’m older than you.
[Pause.]
How was your dinner, Shintaro? Sorry it wasn’t a better meal—I’m a bit strapped for cash.
SHINTARO Fish fingers on toast is my favourite, Uncle.
MAX You’re not just saying that?
SHINTARO Why would I?
MAX People do; it’s called growing up.
SHINTARO It was yummy.
MAX You’re a good boy, Shintaro.
[Pause. MAX turns to leave.]
SHINTARO I’ve found a magical garden, Uncle.
MAX What!?
SHINTARO And in this garden, there are two angels, Remi and Estelle, and two goblins, I think they are, Frog and Clag, and—
MAX Stuff and nonsense, Shintaro! You need to grow up.
SHINTARO Is it… necessary to grow up, Uncle?
MAX Necessary, that’s a big word.
SHINTARO Aunt Fuchsia used it, Uncle. Or was it Aunt Gladys?
MAX Shintaro, you’ll have to stop calling me Uncle. I’m really your godfather. And if your mother and I—that is, once she’s pulled through—well, if the two us marry (which I’m sure there’s no doubt about), you’ll have to call me Max.
SHINTARO Why aren’t you and Mum married already?
MAX Because I haven’t enough yet.
SHINTARO Enough what?
MAX Kids certainly didn’t invent tact. Let’s just say your mother doesn’t want to live modestly. That’s why I’m building up my business. Buying and selling. The trick is to sell what you buy for more than what you bought it for. That’s what’s called turning a profit.
SHINTARO What are you selling?
MAX Enough! Hurry up and get yourself off to bed.
SHINTARO I haven’t had my milk and cookies yet.
MAX Open your mouth. [Looks in SHINTARO’S mouth]. You’re full. To bed!
[SHANTARO looks first puzzled and then resigned. He goes to leave but then turns back.]
SHINTARO Do grownups dream?
MAX We don’t have time to dream.
SHINTARO Why not?
MAX Because everything you want is always a dream away.
SHINTARO So you have to keep on dreaming?
MAX Only if you want no end of it.
SHINTARO Are we poor, Uncle? Like mother says.
MAX Uncle! Shintaro, I told you to call me Max. And maybe one day, once she’s better, and she’s finally agreed to marry me, you may even have to call me Dad. Now for the last time, go to bed!
SHINTARO All right, goodnight, but …
MAX Yes?
SHINTARO There is a garden – Max!
[SHINTARO runs behind a prop (say a couch) …]
Scene 8
SALES ROOM
… and reappears on the other side as his grown-up self, while darkness falls on MAX. The light now reveals LANGER, DEXTER and ALEX socialising, drink in hand. As SHINTARO approaches, LANGER hails him loudly.]
LANGER Shinty! You’re right on time, mate: speeches nearly over and the eating about to begin! [General laughter] So without me rabbiting on any longer, drink up and enjoy the food, ’cause this year’s gonna be …
ALL Humongous!
LANGER Come on, slackers, forgotten our anthem?
ALL Ra, ra, ra!
We’re here to make money
but that means hard work,
but hard work’s money!
LANGER So sell, sell, sell, ya movers and shakers!
[General carousing as JOSS arrives with CARMEN. DEXTER hurries over to peck JOSS on the cheek.]
JOSS I’m late. Terrible day at work. Had a girl slash her wrists. Don’t they know it’s more effective if they cut lengthways?
DEXTER Don’t suppose it’s something that gets advertised.
[Meanwhile, SHINTARO and CARMEN briefly kiss before CARMEN hurries off, muttering something about the ladies room. LANGER walks over to SHINTARO.]
LANGER Hey, Shinty, mate, nice-looking girl.
SHINTARO Nice-looking girl?
LANGER Her! Carmen! I must try your dumb act when closing deals. Bin’ workin’ wonders for you. But geez, she’s a stunner. Dex says youse are already goin’ the pony.
SHINTARO Me and Dex?
LANGER No, you and Carmen, stupid!
SHINTARO He said that?
LANGER Know who Carmen is? Daughter of Lindsay Chambers. One of the top owners of this business. Hey, I don’t knock ambition. Haven’t sat on your freckle for long, have you? And she’s not even a bad sort. Nice norgs. Hey, nice suit you’ve got, too, Shint. Pierre Cardin?
SHINTARO People really can tell.
LANGER I wear the same, mate. Can you tell? Hey, you’re really starting to lift yaself, mate. You’re gonna be patting yaself on the back for coming tonight, I tell you. I wanna introduce you to some of the owners later. Lindsay Chambers especially—guess that was your plan anyway, eh? Look, it’s just a real waste having you walk the pavement, and Waring in Applications is on the way out anyway. No stickativity. And with the business shifting soon to the other side of town … where d’you live again?
SHINTARO Nunawading.
LANGER Nun-a-where? Is that even on the map? Bit of advice: relocate. If you don’t fit the bill, you won’t pay the bills.
[PAUL enters.]
Hey, hang five. That’s Paul, back from Perth.
[LANGER walks over to PAUL. DEXTER joins SHINTARO and hands him a drink.]
DEXTER Langer seemed chatty. Talking shop?
SHINTARO He noticed that my suit is—
DEXTER You must tell me about it sometime. Say, heard anything about the replacement for Waring?
SHINTARO Langer just—
DEXTER Well, I have, and the rumour is, it’s me! Goodness knows why! You’re much better qualified, I told them. Still, I guess you won’t be going for the job now?
SHINTARO [Stung] Why not?
DEXTER Well, with it being practically mine and there’s the shift of workplace, too. I mean, it’d be too far for you to travel.
SHINTARO From Nunawading? It’s only twenty-eight kilometres out.
DEXTER Yes, but traffic—that’s how you measure real distance.
SHINTARO Where’s the new premises?
DEXTER Parkville. That’s the other side of town to you—and you know what getting through the city’s like. Still, I guess my position will become available and I’ll certainly put in a good word for you—even help with your application. When would you like to work on it? Wednesday lunchtime? That’s settled then. Just promise that in return you won’t be going for the job.
SHINTARO Why not?
DEXTER Because you owe me a favour.
SHINTARO What favour?
DEXTER Her, Carmen. Ciao!
[DEXTER intercepts CARMEN’S approach and draws her into a conversation off to the side, leaving SHINTARO alone. LANGER sees SHINTARO is free and approaches, bringing with him the person he’s been talking to (CHAMBERS). CHAMBERS is clearly not interested in meeting SHINTARO.]
LANGER Say, Shint, this is Lindsay Chambers, or Managing Director and one of our owners. Lindsay, this is Shintaro; he’s on the up.
CHAMBERS That’s good for you, I’m sure. But Langer, as I was saying, what we need to do is get the retailers to deal exclusively with us.
[SHINTARO stands awkwardly to the side, as CHAMBERS effectively excludes him from the ongoing conversation].
And of course, we really will have to economise once Dexter’s promoted. I mean, he knows the price of the job better than that sucker Waring ever did. So he’ll no doubt expect the full seventy …
[Noticing that SHINTARO is listening in, CHAMBERS turns to him brusquely.]
Yes?
LANGER [Waving SHINTARO away] Hey, Shint, mate, if ya could.
[To the side, DEXTER continues speaking to CARMEN, but is clearly monitoring the interaction between the others. Up until this point, he has been looking pleased, but now listens with growing concern.]
SHINTARO I’m sorry, but—
CHAMBERS Yes?
SHINTARO Those books in your library, Langer.
LANGER Not now, Shint. Truth is, I haven’t actually gotten round to reading them myself.
SHINTARO Well, I have, and they were as clear to me as my ten times table.
CHAMBERS Is this getting somewhere?
SHINTARO Excuse me, Mr Chambers, it’s just that if you try to maintain profitability by dealing exclusively with retailers who sell only your product … I believe that was Dexter’s suggestion … you’ll risk being done under the Trades Practices Act. On the other hand, if you claim expenses as development costs, they can be capitalised as assets and thus removed from the profit and loss accounts, so profitability will be up in the annual report, and well … I don’t know the ethics of it yet, but—
CHAMBERS [Becoming interested] Never mind that. Go on.
SHINTARO Well, you could double profitability by legally halving expenses. Plus you wouldn’t risk the illegality of … [looking in DEXTER’S direction again] … of the alternative proposal.
[LANGER and CHAMBERS look at each other, impressed.]
LANGER What did I tell you, mate! Our boy, he’s on the up.
CHAMBERS Tell me … Shintaro, is it?
SHINTARO Yes.
CHAMBERS Had you considered applying for Waring’s position?
[DEXTER clumsily tries to enter the conversation. CHAMBERS turns to him.]
Yes?
LANGER [Waving DEXTER away] Hey, Dex, mate, if ya could.
[CHAMBERS, LANGER and SHINTARO form a closed circle upon which DEXTER cannot intrude upon. After a time, he walks away morosely before glancing back and catching SHINTARO’S eye. SHINTARO quickly turns away.
Of course we couldn’t offer more than fifty …
[The lights dim.]
Scene 9
MAGIC GARDEN
The lights rise on boy SHINTARO, FROG and CLAG.
FROG He is a clever fellow.
GLAG Why, if ever a fellow was clever,
he is that fellow indeed.
FROG [To SHINTARO] Say it again.
CLAG Yes, tell us.
SHINTARO Say when.
[CLAG gestures dramatically, as though commanding an orchestra to begin playing.]
One ten is ten, two tens are twenty, three tens are –
FROG Plenty! Please, no more! It’s all I can adore.
CLAG Frog?
FROG Yes, Clag?
CLAG Whoever will protect
the reigning champ of the intellect?
FROG Why, I!
CLAG Oh my!
FROG Shintaro can become our king!
If in thought we are truly free,
then the stupid should, forever, be
in bondage!
Let the artless be your ire and rage—
they the army, you the sage!
[Clapping and merriment before CLAG becomes suddenly sober.]
CLAG Frog, aren’t we forgetting?
FROG Forgetting?
CLAG Oh I know it’s a kind of mystic reverie—
a weakness of the soul—
to dream on such things till I am grown old.
FROG I am this, this and that, that and this, this and that.
CLAG Frog, haven’t we a king already?
FROG If only we could kill the serpent!
CLAG Then we could catch the unicorn!
FROG Or if only we could catch the unicorn!
CLAG Then we could kill the serpent!
SHINTARO Which is first?
[FROG and CLAG are dumfounded by this question.]
FROG Which would you like to do?
SHINTARO If you show me where the unicorn is, then I can get the unicorn to stab the serpent right through with its horn. And unicorns’ horns have special powers. My mother told me so.
CLAG Yes, it’s a plan. So, once you catch the unicorn …
FROG … and the unicorn stabs the serpent …
CLAG Then we rush in.
FROG Oh where to begin?
CLAG By rolling it into a stream.
FROG Cutting it down the seam.
CLAG Dicing it up in bits.
FROG Which won’t fuse together.
CLAG Ever.
FROG Again!
CLAG Because they’ll be washed away.
FROG Caught in the spray.
CLAG To never regroup!
FROG Win the day!
MAX [Offstage] Shintaro!
[FROG and CLAG look at SHINTARO interrogatively.]
SHINTARO That’s Max.
MAX [Offstage] Shintaro!
CLAG He cannot cross to here.
FROG He did once before—
long, long before …
CLAG But now no more.
MAX [Offstage] Shintaro, where are you?
[FROG and CLAG flee. The lights become brighter, less wondrous.]
Scene 10
SHINTARO’S HOUSE
MAX walks in slowly and regards boy SHINTAROsternly.
MAX I know where you go, Shintaro.
It wasn’t so long ago
that I …
SHINTARO That you what, Max?
MAX Never mind. Just don’t stay inside your head so much. It distorts things. Are you happy, Shintaro? No, you mustn’t ask yourself that. Much better you just keep busy. Oh, I nearly forgot. TROY!
[TROY, a young boy SHINTARO’S age, enters.]
Shintaro, say hello.
SHINTARO Hello.
MAX You have a friend. As you know, your mother owns this house but the land around has just been leased to Troy’s father to farm, hence Troy here standing before you. Enjoy your play.
[MAX leaves. The two boys regard each other with some uncertainty.]
TROY Your uncle’s cool. Want a lolly?
SHINTARO What have you got?
TROY Blood Sucker Pops, Ghost Drops, Warheads, Wizz Fizz, Freddo Frogs (the really yummy ones with the white tops), Fizzers, Fruit Tingles, Chubba Chubs (lollypops), Wicked Fizz, Minties and Redskins. But first you’ve got to play “I surrender”? Do you know it?
SHINTARO No.
[TROY wrestles SHINTARO to the ground.]
TROY Do you surrender?
SHINTARO Never!
TROY Surrender!
[FUCHSIA and GLADYS call from offstage. The two boys immediately separate.]
FUCHSIA [Offstage] Shintaro, dinner’s ready.
GLADYS [Offstage] Come and eat.
SHINTARO I’ve got to go. I’m supposed to be having dinner with my aunts.
TROY Great, I’m hungry.
SHINTARO Oh, but I …
TROY And I want to meet them.
SHINTARO But they’re a bit … you know.
TROY Aren’t all the grown-ups? My folks are a terrible joke.
SHINTARO All right.
[They walk in a loop, dipping amicably into TROY’S lolly bag and finally entering the pool of light that has progressively brightened to reveal FUCHSIA and GLADYS.]
GLADYS Oh Shintaro, you have a friend.
FUCHSIA And what a friend.
GLADYS Would you like a tea?
FUCHSIA Tea in a cup.
GLADYS Cup and saucer?
[The lights dim.]
Scene 11
CHAMBERS’ HOUSE
Adult SHINTARO walks on stage led by CHAMBERS, with LANGER and CARMEN in tow.
CHAMBERS Welcome to my humble abode.
LANGER Five stories. Wow! This place is humungous.
SHINTARO But you can’t tell from the front.
CHAMBERS No, that’s because we’re set on the side of a hill. You enter on the top floor, and the four levels below face the Yarra. If I’d sent my boat to get you, that’s about the only way you’d get to see the whole place from outside.
SHINTARO May I have a cup of tea?
CHAMBERS Tea? That all? After the job we’ve offered you? May I tempt you with a wine instead?
CARMEN Oh, not this game. Where’s mum? Mum!
SHINTARO What game?
LANGER Hey, Carmen, mind showing me the dunny? Bet it’s bigger than my whole pad.
CARMEN [Referring to SHINTARO] I want him later, Daddy, so not too much.
[LANGER and CARMEN exit as CHAMBERS pours two glasses of wine and hands one to SHINTARO immediately takes several sips while CHAMBERS ostentatiously sniffs at his own glass.]
CHAMBERS Notice anything about the wine, Shintaro?
SHINTARO Oh, yes, thankyou, it’s very nice.
CHAMBERS It’s corked.
SHINTARO Corked?
CHAMBERS The wine has reacted with the cork, making it go bad.
SHINTARO Oh yes, I did notice but …
CHAMBERS Did you now? [He turns away, carefully selecting, uncorking and pouring a second wine.] Try this one. Well?
SHINTARO Well?
CHAMBERS Is that wine corked?
SHINTARO Um, er, not sure.
CHAMBERS You would say it was … strange, though?
SHINTARO Oh, yes, definitely strange. It’s just hard to say in what way.
CHAMBERS You have noticed the wooden flavour, perhaps?
SHINTARO Yes, that. Of course. So, er … perhaps corked, though I wouldn’t—
CHAMBER Corked! Yes, absolutely. You are the right sort. [Whispering] For my daughter.
SHINTARO Your daughter?
CHAMBERS And the job. Both positions.
SHINTARO Mr Chambers, I’m not—
CHAMBERS Call me Lindsay. Here, try this one.
SHINTARO Oh, yes, that’s definitely cor—
CHAMBERS Uh! I’m terribly sorry—my fault, Shintaro. I didn’t give you time for the last one to clear your throat. Here, let’s partake of some cheese to clear the palette. Now, try again.
SHINTARO Oh, yes, Lindsay, corked it definitely isn’t, I was about to say.
LINDSAY Indeed! Oh my, yes, you are the right sort. Now this.
SHINTARO [Desperately] Oh, but wouldn’t you agree that last one hit the right note?
LINDSAY [Whispering] You tell me.
[The lights dim on CHAMBERS and SHINTARO.]
Scene 12
MAGIC GARDEN
FROG and CLAG race into a pool of light, half-pulling boy SHINTARO between them.
FROG Yes, the unicorn should be somewhere around here.
CLAG Oh, around here somewhere, definitely.
FROG [In terror] Clag!
CLAG [In equal terror] Frog!
FROG Where?
CLAG There!
FROG The unicorn! Hide!
[CLAG and FROG duck behind a bush. UNICORN gallops past, stopping centimetres in front of a frozen SHINTARO.]
SHINTARO I … um … Are you a unicorn?
UNICORN I am.
SHINTARO Then … then I’ve caught you!
UNICORN No you haven’t.
SHINTARO Yes I have.
UNICORN Everyone knows you can’t catch a unicorn.
SHINTARO But I have. You!
UNICORN Me? Just you try.
[SHINTARO tries desperately to grasp UNICORN but UNICORN keeps effortlessly stepping aside.]
See, you can’t catch a unicorn.
[SHINTARO pretends to give up, and then springs forward for one last lunge. Again, UNICORN easily evades him. SHINTARO falls and then gets up, looking morose.]
SHINTARO Everyone said I couldn’t catch a unicorn.
UNICORN Why do you want a unicorn so much?
SHINTARO Because if I just had a unicorn, everything would be okay. Mum says everything they touch turns to gold.
UNICORN And why do you need gold?
SHINTARO I don’t know, but everyone wants it.
UNICORN How old are you, little one?
SHINTARO How old are you?
UNICORN Old enough to regard my own death as possible.
SHINTARO How old’s that?
UNICORN Not old enough.
SHINTARO Unicorn?
UNICON Yes?
SHINTARO Do you think it’s … necessary to grow up?
UNICORN What a remarkable question.
SHINTARO Aunt Fuchsia, and Aunt Gladys, and Max—they all thought it was a silly question.
UNICORN Everything between birth and death we make up.
SHINTARO What’s that mean?
UNICORN It means,
do you know if what you want—
if what you want you need?
[The lights dim.]
Scene 13
CHAMBERS’ HOUSE
SHINTARO and CHAMBERS (quite drunk) are laughingly inspecting a line-up of corked bottles.
CHAMBERS Want ’nuther one, Shintaro?
SHINTARO Yesh, sir. [Pause] I think.
[CHAMBERS holds up an unopened bottle of wine]
CHAMBERS Szo, whaddya reckon, lad? Corked?
SHINTARO Itsh not even open, Lindsee.
CHAMBERS Sooo?
SHINTARO & CHAMBERS Corked!
CHAMBERS Oh my, you are the right sort. Wait here, my lad. I’ll get us another one—hic!
[CHAMBERS staggers off. CARMEN walks in, looks at SHINTARO wobbling about and is unimpressed. SHINTARO holds his arms out.]
SHINTARO Carmen!
CARMEN Oh, please, I’m going to bed—alone!
[CARMEN switches off the lights as she leaves.]
Scene 14
SALES ROOM
The lights flick back on almost instantly as LANGER walks in breezily, a cup of tea in one hand.
LANGER Good morning!
SHINTARO Oh, my head.
LANGER Not surprised, mate. Here, drink this.
SHINTARO What is it?
LANGER Tea. Hey, Shint, you certainly made an impression you made on Lindsay Chambers last night, I can tell you.
SHINTARO Really?
LANGER You kidding? That idea you threw up for avoiding tax—he was really impressed. And it’s not just the managing director we’re talking about here, it’s also a bloke who’s one of our biggest owners. Way to go.
SHINTARO Thanks.
LANGER It’s that angelic face of yours. Pretty handy when you’re selling ’cause people don’t think you’re trying to do them over.
SHINTARO Do we do people over?
LANGER Sure. You’ve just done Dexter over. That guy’s history. Think about the gold, mate. Everything you touch …
[They freeze. The lights dim. Ideally, the actors are all on stage now for the remainder of the play, simply entering and leaving the light as required.]
Scene 15
MAGIC GARDEN
UNICORN steps forward to address boy SHINTARO.
UNICORN You really want this gold so much, Shintaro?
[SHINTARO doesn’t know how to answer.]
SHINTARO [Finally] Yes.
[TROY wanders on stage waving goodbye to someone offstage. UNICORN exits.]
TROY Hey, they’re not so bad.
SHINTARO Who?
TROY Your aunties, dumbat. So, mates?
SHINTARO Mates?
TROY Us. Mates. [He grips SHINTARO’S hand.] Seeya tomorra.
SHINTARO Why tomorrow?
TROY Your aunties have asked me round for dinner—again!
[TROY wanders away and SHINTARO follows. FUCHSIA and GLADYS then appear with adult SHINTARO, welcoming him as if they have just greeted him at their front door.]
FUCHSIA Shintaro, you’re alone!
GLADYS Fuchsia!
FUCHSIA You didn’t bring your new friend—again.
SHINTARO Carmen’s got bridge tonight.
FUSCIA Oh well, so nice you could make it for dinner, Shintaro. We don’t see you much now you’ve moved to that Parkville apartment.
GLADYS And now that you’re invited to dine with Carmen’s parents such a lot.
FUCHSIA When will we get to meet them?
GLADYS When will we get to greet them?
FUCHSIA We could have them over.
GLADYS Make them tea.
FUCHSIA Tea in a cup.
GLADYS Cup and—
SHINTARO Have them here?! Nunawading? Look, when I get this promotion, I’ll be able to move you to an apartment in Coburg, at least, and then perhaps we’ll see. Coburg’s quite trendy now.
GLADYS Oh no, we’re very happy here, aren’t we, Fuchsia?
FUCHSIA Oh yes, Gladys, quite.
GLADYS So what does she cook?
SHINTARO Who?
GLADYS Carmen’s mum, of course.
SHINTARO Oh, I don’t know. Salmon and trout roll last night followed by rum icecream and short blacks.
FUCHSIA No wonder he doesn’t come home to eat any more, Gladys. He’s being fed royally.
GLADYS Well, Fuchsia, I don’t have time to cook like that, now I work.
FUCHSIA [To SHINTARO] Yes, your Aunt Gladys could certainly cook.
GLADYS Still can. Shintaro, why not come home on Friday?
FUCHSIA Yes, why not come Friday?
GLADYS I’ll cook you something special.
SHINTARO Can’t Friday.
GLADYS Why not?
SHINTARO I socialise then. It has to be a weeknight. Although even then I don’t know how I’ll manage it—Nunawading’s so far out.
GLADYS It’s not that far.
FUCHSIA If you come by car.
SHINTARO But traffic—that’s how you measure real distance.
GLADYS No, you’re right.
FUCHSIA Yes, you’re right.
GLADYS [Suddenly thoughtful] You won’t come here much longer, Shintaro
SHINTARO What?
[UNICORN steps into a separate pool of light from one side and boy SHINTARO from its opposite side as adult SHINTARO, FUCHSIA and GLADYS recede into shadow.]
UNICORN I said, you won’t come here much longer, Shintaro.
SHINTARO I’ll always come, Unicorn.
UNICORN If it were only so, Shintaro.
But just yesterday I said, ‘See that sea
so still? That sea’s a sheet ironed flat
where dolphins duck under blankets of foam.’
And you said, ‘No, that’s a dead calm.’
SHINTARO I don’t see.
UNICORN You said it was the sea.
SHINTARO It is.
UNICORN If the sea is only the sea, Shintaro …
SHINTARO Uncle says if you could just take the strength of the sea,
you could run a city’s lights for centuries.
UNICORN If they could, Shintaro, they would.
[UNICORN moves away.]
SHINTARO Are you angry with me, Unicorn?
UNICORN You’re accepting the world, Shintaro.
Each day you accept it more:
that a door should lead to a room,
and not to a ceiling or floor.
You won’t come here much more.
[The lights shift to adult SHINTARO, who is still with FUCHSIA and GLADYS.]
SHINTARO Of course I’ll come here again. It’s just that right now my career’s really taking off. The way Max wanted it to.
[FUCHSIA and GLADYS share sad smiles.]
Anyway, I brought a wine. My new boss, Chambers, gave it to me. For helping cut … staff.
[FUCHSIA and GLADYS are stunned but FUCHSIA tries to lighten the mood.]
FUCHSIA Oh my, look at that, Gladys. Shintaro’s brought us a drop. We’re partial to a bit of red.
GLADYS I’ll bring in dinner. You two sit down.
[GLADYS turns away.]
FUCHSIA So, Shintaro, how’s the girl? Is it love?
GLADYS [As she leaves the light] Fuchsia!
SHINTARO Aren’t you going to air the wine?
FUCHSIA Sorry?
SHINTARO Air it.
FUCHSIA Air it?
SHINTARO Uncork it!
FUCHSIA Oh yes, I can do it now if you like.
[GLADYS returns with three meals on a tray.]
Gladys, our nephew is endeavouring to lift the tone of this place.
GLADYS Oh yes, he’s on the up, our boy. Shintaro, we’ve something to celebrate.
SHINTARO I haven’t got the job yet—officially.
GLADYS Oh, er, yes, that too. I meant, having our nephew home for dinner. It seems so long since you moved to Parkville. Now then, weren’t you going to pour the wine for a toast?
SHINTARO You can’t have red wine with fish.
FUCHSIA Well, I don’t mind. Never been a stickler for rules.
SHINTARO One can’t have red wine with fish.
GLADYS Look, we don’t mind, Shintaro.
SHINTARO You should.
[In a studied manner, SHINTARO waits for his hosts to start before he does. They all eat without appetite.]
GLADY Shintaro, sorry to have wasted your …
FUCHSIA We could put a cork in it!
SHINTARO It’s been aired now.
GLADYS Was it expensive?
SHINTARO Well, I only drink the best.
[The light dims as another shines on boy SHINTARO (boy) and TROY, each carrying a pillow.]
TROY That was another scrumptious meal. Your aunts are a treat.
SHINTARO Mum thinks they’re funny.
TROY Yeah, they make me laugh too.
SHINTARO I feel full. So full I can’t move.
TROY Only one thing for it. Pillow fight!
[TROY hits SHINTARO with his pillow and SHINTARO fights back.]
Surrender?
SHINTARO Never.
[One of the pillows bursts. Soon the stage is filled with a snowstorm of feathers. TROY is consumed in the darkness. The feathers clear. SHINTARO faces UNICORN.]
UNICORN Under the Surly Tree with leaves of jade
I sat, and in song the birds I bade
adieu.
We could do that too?
SHINTARO I can’t, sorry. Max said he’d take me to the races today. He said he’d … ‘write it off as a business trip’. Does that sound right?
UNICORN That sounds right.
SHINTARO I can’t wait to go. All those pretty horses—er, not as pretty as you … Unicorn.
UNICORN Blunt fingers caked on a spoon
can but hold it too soon!
SHINTARO What does that mean, Unicorn?
UNICORN It means you’re getting away from us, Shintaro. Soon you’ll be so saturated in the real, you’ll never dream.
SHINTARO Oh, all right, let’s go for a ride, then. We’ll go to the sea. Like yesterday. But let’s make it quick.
UNICORN We can’t, Shintaro.
SHINTARO Why not?
UNICORN Because you must wake up.
SHINTARO Why?
UNICORN Because you must go to school.
SHINTARO Why?
UNICORN Because you must do your homework.
SHINTARO Why?
UNICORN Because you must get your school certificate.
SHINTARO Why?
UNICORN Because you must find a job.
SHINTARO Why?
UNICORN Because you—
SHINTARO Why?
UNICORN Because!
[Pause]
SHINTARO Why?
UNICORN Shintaro,
If I could, I’d build a world within a wood.
Hold happiness in my hoof.
If I could,
I would, Shintaro, I would.
SHINTARO I’ll never catch you.
UNICORN Shintaro,
were I able, I’d take the sun and run,
tie a string to the moon,
let myself
be kept in food and stable.
I’d make of my mane a gold rein to let you hold and tame me to your fold.
If I could,
I would, Shintaro, I would.
[Their light fades to dark as another shines on adult SHINTARO and LANGER in the position where we saw SHINTARO and TROY’S pillow fight. LANGER sweeps what looks like the last of the boys’ pillow fight into a bucket already filled with white.]
LANGER What a job, mate! So that’s it? All shredded?
SHINTARO Every last document.
LANGER Dexter’s schemes are out; yours in. What a coup! I don’t understand the details, but …
SHINTARO I’ve engineered an increase in profitability simply by getting the accountants to shift expenses from the profit and loss accounts to the balance sheet. That means an increase in dividends for the shareholders and a bonus for Chambers.
LANGER Yeah … exactly. You’re a hero, mate. Let’s get some dinner. My shout.
SHINTARO Oh no, I couldn’t possibly—
LANGER I mean, the company’s shout. We’ve just gotta keep the receipt. Haven’t you heard that other, unofficial, anthem of mine? [Half sings, half chants] ‘Fill up your car. Claim it. Dine out for lunch. Claim it. Hire a hooker. Claim it.’ (I write that last one off as stress relief.)
SHINTARO I had dinner with my aunts last night.
LANGER Family! What a joke.
SHINTARO I guess. As I left, they said they’d always stand … by my side, you know … and if I did something … dishonest … they’d still stand by me, they said – only it would be harder then.
LANGER What’s your point?
SHINTARO Well, my schemes aren’t illegal, but I can’t say they’re any more ethical than Dexter’s. I mean, my aunts pay a mammoth amount of their meagre wages in tax, and here I am, making sure the owners of this company part with no more than a few paltry per cent of their phenomenal profits in tax.
LANGER Hey, mate, using the law to your advantage isn’t breaking it; it’s being smart. You wanna go through life paying maximum tax—never declaring on anything? End up poor like your godfather.
SHINTARO Max?
LANGER You know how he lost this business? The Fraud Squad starts investigating, he plays by the rules and goes bankrupt. The present owners pounced on his business and Max died in poverty, as you know. Left nothing for your aunts. Wanna take after Dad?
SHINTARO Godfather, you mean. My actual father was a farmer.
LANGER What, you want the rustic life now? That’s funny. What money do farmers ever make these days?
SHINTARO Not much off the land. Dad was always away, chasing work. I guess I don’t want that.
LANGER Good, so enough whinging?
SHINTARO Enough.
LANGER Right, that’s two hundred bucks.
SHINTARO What?
LANGER My consultancy fee.
SHINTARO What, for that?
LANGER Mate, I just helped you with professional advice worth a million bucks. But I’ll settle for two hundred.
SHINTARO Okay, point taken. I’m getting back to work.
LANGAR I don’t think you heard me, Shint; I’m serious. That’s two hundred bucks and rising.
SHINTARO You’re joking!
LANGAR We’ll see if I’m fuckin’ joking. I hire a prostitute—you think I pay the bitch to talk?
[SHINTARO stands up angrily.]
Hey, don’t worry, mate, you can always claim it on tax!
[Breaks into laughter as SHINTARO leaves.]
Just joking. But geez, you should look in a mirror—your expression! Anyway, there was one thing I was serious about: any borderline ‘business’ expense, what do you do? Claim it, claim it, claim it!
[FUCHSIA, GLADYS, ESTELLE, REMI, FROG and CLAG tiptoe onto the light, taking over the chant from LANGER. They edge over to boy SHINTARO, enclosing him in a semicircle.]
FUCHSIA, GLADYS, ESTELLE, REMI, FROG & CLAG
Claim it, claim it, claim it!
Claim it, claim it, claim it!
Claim it, claim it, claim it!
CLAIM IT! CLAIM IT! CLAIM IT!
SHINTARO Stop!
[He covers his face and sinks to the floor. The goblins and angels run off, leaving FUCHSIA and GLADYS watching over SHINTARO as if over a baby in a cot.]
FUCHSIA It’s a pity his mother had to die.
GLADYS And Max too.
FUCHSIA Do you remember what you said?
GLADYS Who said?
FUCHSIA When the doctor came and declared her dead?
GLADYS He’s just a boy.
FUCHSIA I know he’s just a boy.
GLADYS A boy without a mother …
FUCHSIA Must you be so grim?
GLADYS I’ll tell that doctor, ‘Doctor, something must be done.
‘Can’t you see that something must be done?’
FUCHSIA You can’t say that.
GLADYS Of course I can say that.
FUCHSIA You would look down on a giant.
GLADYS And you would look up to an ant.
FUCHSIA Here he comes.
[The DOCTOR enters.]
DOCTOR Oh no, not yet, not now,
Now is not the time to grovel low or deeply bow.
That time will come.
GLADYS And if it never does?
DOCTOR That’s half the fun.
Just for now I want you for another service altogether.
No, not to tell the time or remark upon the weather.
There’s the clock and news reports for that.
No, I want you to do something quite apart
from the usual tit-a-tat.
FUCHSIA We’d do anything for you.
GLADYS Doctor, for you’d we’d—
DOCTOR That will do.
Now, I want you for a moment, just a moment, to imagine
that though the world may suit you, there’s a faction
for whom the world doesn’t sit too well at all.
FUCHSIA We can imagine that.
GLADYS Yes, we can imagine that.
DOCTOR Then I’ll tell you that much is wrong and nothing true.
Life is lonely, and then there’s death. It’s quite a pain.
But that is much of muchness to you who’ve seen it plain.
FUCHSIA It looks like rain.
GLADYS Ten to two.
[The DOCTOR approaches the curtained bed.]
DOCTOR Is this the mother?
[The DOCTOR reaches behind the curtain, obviously feeling the mother’s pulse.]
FUCHSIA Is she?
GLADYS She is, isn’t she?
DOCTOR What’s the use in even trying?
Nothing’s living, only dying.
[FUCHSIA and GLADYS gasp at a fear realised.]
It will be any day. Any day or minute now. Good day.
[The DOCTOR leaves in a flurry. MAX enters and walks to the bed.]
MAX Has she asked for me?
[FUCHSIA and GLADYS look at each other wondering whether to lie.]
GLADYS No, she hasn’t called.
FUCHSIA She hasn’t called for us either, Max.
GLADYS Except to make her tea.
FUCHSIA Tea in a cup.
GLADYS Cup and …
MAX … saucer.
Look how she sleeps …
The world stirs, revolves … and weeps.
It is too intense, being me.
If I could be someone else, he
Then, or she, could try being me.
GLADYS Cheer up, Max.
FUCHSIA Yes, cheer up, Max.
GLADYS Plenty more fish in the sea.
MAX Plenty more fish in the sea! And pray tell, ladies,
Where are fish if not in water?
FUCHSIA With ease,
They’re diving gently into mouths
GLADYS (their own
of hooks now free)
FUCHSIA and are masticated
GLADYS in fluid gulps,
FUCHSIA to swim unlighted seas.
MAX Ah with poetry the worst can be so prettily got up!
[Pause.]
FUCHSIA Doctor says it will be any day now.
GLADYS Any minute.
FUCHSIA Any day or any minute soon.
GLADYS Doctor says.
[MAX gets up and stares at the front door.]
MAX If I was to walk out of this door …
GLADYS Which door?
MAX This door.
FUCHSIA This door?
MAX This! Would I miss it as much as a scene, say …
GLADYS A scene scene?
MAX No, something happy, gay …
Well, what I mean to say …
FUCHSIA What you mean to say is—
MAX Would I miss …
FUCHSIA … this place?
GLADYS This place?
MAX This!
[Pause. MAX heads towards the door, wondering if he dares leave. Suddenly, a voice comes from the other side.]
STRANGER [Offstage] Knock-knock-knock.
Knock-knock-knock.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
[MAX doesn’t know what to do. He looks to the others. They look to him.]
Knock-knock-knock.
Knock-knock-knock.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
FUCHSIA Max, will you answer it!
MAX Who is it for?
FUCHSIA Answer it, answer it!
MAX Who is it for?
FUCHSIA For the person who knocks.
STRANGER Knock-knock-knock.
MAX Who knocks thrice more.
STRANGER Knock-knock-knock.
Knock-knock-knock.
Knock … Knock …
GLADYS … Knock.
[Pause. The clock strikes midnight.]
FUCHSIA She can’t be dead.
GLADYS Of course she can’t be dead.
FUCHSIA When I looked in on her before, she turned and inclined her head.
FUCHSIA & GLADYS So of course she can’t be dead.
MAX But that was then!
FUCHSIA & GLADYS What was when?
[MAX endeavours to explain himself.]
MAX When I am in the middle of something good,
I say, ‘This is good and it is now.’
No sooner, it seems—it is still now—
But later, and that was memory.
FUCHSIA & GLADYS But not with death.
MAX No, it’s far too final. She can’t be dead.
FUCHSIA & GLADYS Of course she can’t be dead.
MAX How many times did he knock?
FUCHSIA He? It might be a she. Though I’m sure it’s a he.
GLADYS How can you be sure?
All that we can be sure of
is that someone knocked at the door.
MAX How many times did he knock?
GLADYS It’s once for yes.
FUCHSIA And twice for no.
STRANGER Knock-knock-knock-knock MAX One-two-three-four.
FUCHSIA & GLADYS [Like an army chant] Who is that knocking at the door?
STRANGER Knock-knock-knock-knock MAX Five-six-seven-eight.
FUCHSIA & GLADYS A man who’s come so very late.
MAX Two lots of four knocks. That must mean yes.
FUCHSIA Or it could mean no.
MAX, FUCHSIA & GLADYS She can’t be dead.
STRANGER Knock-knock-knock.
Knock-knock-knock.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
[The door opens, revealing blackness beyond, before the whole stage goes dark. When a single light comes in, it reveals REMI and ESTELLE, both staring into the distance.]
ESTELLE Shintaro sleeps.
REMI Shintaro dreams.
ESTELLE Shintaro comes toward us.
REMI Alone.
ESTELLE Quite alone.
REMI All alone.
REMI & ESTELLE Shintaro walks towards us all alone.
[UNICORN enters the light. His coming clearly angers REMI and ESTELLE.]
ESTELLE Are you a unicorn?
UNICORN I am.
REMI The same unicorn that the boy Shintaro would like to catch?
UNICORN You can’t catch a unicorn.
REMI Are you that unicorn?
UNICORN Yes, but …
REMI & ESTELLE … you can’t catch a unicorn.
UNICORN No you can’t.
ESTELLE So you have never been caught?
UNICORN Never.
ESTELLE Never ever?
UNICORN Never ever have been caught.
ESTELLE But you have been caught in a downpour?
UNICORN That I have.
REMI Been pelted by hail?
UNICORN By hail and thrown in goal.
REMI Been whipped by the wind?
UNICORN And made to rescind.
ESTELLE Then what’s to mind?
[UNICORN reflects on how best way to answer this charge. At length, he speaks meditatively.]
UNICORN I really do not mind, at all, the weather
but toward the binding
my attitude reflects the goat’s towards its tether.
I really do not mind the weather.
ESTELLE This goat of whom you versify is …?
UNICORN Timmy,
or was, for the chain’s ring
which held him bound he broke to tread
our garden under.
But Timmy’s owners shot him in the head.
ESTELLE Timmy’s death was reprehensible.
UNICORN Indeed.
Now I think of the supersensible,
the understandable, the factual,
mathematics and the actual
chain of several metres radius.
ESTELLE His stake—was it nearby a bus?
REMI What was the area (squared) he moved in?
ESTELLE Was his place chic,
REMI fashionable,
ESTELLE a bin?
REMI Did he have fun?
ESTELLE Did he back then?
REMI I notice your chain is broken.
Well, I hope you haven’t a gun.
[REMI & ESTELLE leave huffily. Boy SHINTARO appears using his hand as a gun.]
SHINTARO Stop right there!
[UNICORN freezes but then turns and visibly relaxes on seeing SHINTARO.]
Stick ’em up! Stick ’em up, I say! You’re my prisoner.
UNICORN You can’t catch a unicorn.
SHINTARO Then I’ll shoot you. Pow! Pe-ow! Got ya! You’re dead. Lie down when you’re dead. Unicorn, you’re not playing properly. You’ve been shot.
UNICORN Shintaro, if I were to lay down dead, I would never get up.
SHINTARO Good.
UNICORN Shintaro!
SHINTARO I wish you were dead. [Pause.] Mum plays dead.
[UNICORN abruptly halts at this and turns to SHINTARO.]
UNICORN Shintaro, try to catch me.
SHINTARO You’ll just run away.
UNICORN Try.
SHINTARO What’s the point?
UNICORN Just try.
[After a pause, SHINTARO runs at, and eventually catches, UNICORN.]
You’ve caught me!
SHINTARO Cheat!
UNICORN Why?
SHINTARO You let me catch you. You’re not playing properly.
UNICORN But aren’t you happy, Shintaro? You’ve caught a unicorn.
SHINTARO No I haven’t. You let me catch you.
UNICORN That’s the only way you can catch a unicorn, Shintaro. If it lets you.
SHINTARO Then, really and truly, you can’t catch a unicorn?
UNICORN [Sadly] No.
[SHINTARO slumps to the floor. UNICORN paces in ever widening circles around him.]
Shintaro?
SHINTARO Yes.
UNICORN If my mind were a box
I would give it to you,
unwrapped, without
deception. No secret
compartments—everything.
It would be my gift.
SHINTARO How do you catch a unicorn?
UNICORN This gift (dappled with small
offensive blotches, though
mostly beautiful) is open to me,
if I let it, so why then
do I need to share it?
And why can’t I give?
And would you receive?
SHINTARO [Miserably] How do you catch a unicorn?
[UNICORN’S circle of pacing is now so wide, he is fading into the surrounding darkness.]
UNICORN I would, Shintaro, if I could. For you, I would …
[UNICORN disappears altogether. REMI and ESTELLE step from one pool of light to another in which we see adult SHINTARO, standing forlornly.]
SHINTARO Is he gone?
ESTELLE Who?
SHINTARO I wanted to watch him to the horizon. When I was very young and Dad went away, I’d always watch the car as far as I could. Is he gone?
REMI [Pause, after looking at ESTELLE] You mean your unicorn, Shintaro?
SHINTARO Is he gone?
ESTELLE Not far, I’m sure.
SHINTARO No, he’s gone.
ESTELLE Shintaro, please remember:
when arising from your bed this morn
nought could have hinted of or warned
of whom the day would bring to you.
SHINTARO Uncle Max gave me a toy gun once. But Mum took it away. Uncle Max should never have given it to me.
ESTELLE I don’t think he’s gone.
SHINTARO It didn’t matter. I’ve got another—right here.
[SHINTARO pulls out his hand, cocked like a gun.]
Bang!
ESTELLE Shot! Fatally! I’m dying.
SHINTARO It’s just a hand, silly. [Pause.] He is gone.
ESTELLE No, Shintaro, he is right beside you
wherever you go.
SHINTARO Who?
ESTELLE Meet your mind, say:—
REMI & ESTELLE Hello.
SHINTARO Hello.
ESTELLE An answer! He has a friend!
REMI Just one?
ESTELLE But one must do
to while away a life or two …
mustn’t it?
[SHINTARO walks off.]
Where are you going?
[To REMI] Where is he going?
REMI Oh this artful, endless seeming!
We should build a love upon a hate
for if we can destroy
then surely we can create?
Or am I dreaming?
ESTELLE In all the world of scorn and noise,
He found his unicorn.
REMI He wanders—his vocation—
a novel in hand.
Frantic gasps of elation
are but pinpricks in sand.
That waves seal in memory tombs.
ESTELLE In all the world of scorn and noise,
He did find his unicorn!
REMI But for how long?
ESTELLE Remi,
Did we make progress?
Diminish wide chasms?
REMI Yes, in drunken spasms.
ESTELLE The other night I dreamt a dream
(more real than dreams should ever seem)
in which I was a child again,
and my mum was as she was then.
She took me to the city where,
in a green park, in the sun’s glare,
we chanced upon a park and saw
a gentleman—oh god, what for?
For his hair was white, and all aglow,
Long and white, like some cacti grow,
And Mum! She pointed to the man,
Saying, ah such words, words began
With:
REMI ‘See that bloke whom I’m espying—
With wrinkled skin?—he’s dying, dying.
Don’t laugh, my dear, I’d fain be lying.
But why, my dear, you’re crying, crying …’
[Boy SHINTARO wanders into the light, crying and with a pillow (mostly emptied of its feathers) in one hand. TROY follows him with a full, un-ripped pillow.]
TROY I’m sorry.
SHINTARO You kissed me!
TROY I … I thought it might make you surrender.
SHINTARO Ugh! I’ll never surrender. Not if you kiss me!
[SHINTARO makes an exaggerated show of wiping his cheek with his sleeve.]
TROY I thought it would make you surrender.
SHINTARO Go!
TROY We’re still mates?
SHINTARO Never! You’re just a farm boy. Farmers are never rich. Mum married a farm boy, and so we’ve never had enough!
TROY Enough of what?
SHINTARO If only I’d caught my unicorn, we would’ve been okay. Mum says … said … everything they touch turns to gold.
[TROY tries to touch SHINTARO, who recoils. TROY’S shoulders sag and he walks away disconsolately. Adult SHINTARO enters the light and looks at his sobbing younger self.]
SHINTARO Shintaro, I’m trying to write a letter of resignation
for a job I can no longer do.
But all I can manage is a letter to my younger self,
a letter to you.
We don’t talk much now, you and I.
We’ve grown apart, it’s true.
I wonder if you’d know me now?
I hope I still know you.
But with you, I’ll spend time later,
Getting to know what I knew,
And learning to forget what I never did get.
For now, this is what I write to Langer, to Chambers, and their ilk.
When you’re sitting in your Toorak villa,
sports car in the drive,
giving the finger to your friends,
still working the nine to five,
you will know exactly when and where
you have gotten to and why,
for the life you have created
is just a lie reinstated.
It’s a world founded on fakery.
It’s a fantasy I abhor.
People should want less,
and enjoy it more.
[LANGER rushes past.]
Hey, Langer.
LANGER Shinty, mate. How are you going? Good day, was it?
SHINTARO Um, Langer, actually I’ve got bad news for you. I’m leaving.
[Pause]
LANGER Bad news? Bad news for you, you mean. It’s not bad news for me. What are you leaving for? Who’s poached you?
SHINTARO No one has poached me.
LANGER What—just gone for a safe job, have you? Shint, this place is yours for the takin’. Chambers can’t stop droolin’ over you. And raving about how net profit’s gone up.
SHINTARO But I can’t do this any more.
LANGER So you’re settling for security, that’s it? I thought you had brains. You’re giving up a grand a week for security? I’m laughing at you, I am. Really, I’m crying my eyes out, it’s so funny. No stickativity.
SHINTARO If you could just tell Carmen—
LANGER This about your conscience again?
SHINTARO Yes.
LANGER So you’ll get yourself a nice, honest job that’s strictly by the rules, ’ey? How much you gonna earn on that? Maybe thirty, thirty-five grand a year. A year! Know what? That’s what the managing director gambles in a night. Who’s gonna thank you at the end of your thankless life? Your wife? When you’re both struggling in your retirement at—no, not thirty—but sixty-five? Who else is gonna thank you? The government? Think they’re gonna push you up the queue when you’re waiting for your heart bypass?
SHINTARO I will thank me.
[LANGER breaks into laughter.]
Perhaps this letter will help you understand.
[LANGER takes the offered letter, though still beside himself with laughter.]
LANGER Oh, really, this is too much. Hilarious. You’re out of your mind.
SHINTARO Langer, could you just pass on to Carmen that I’m sorry. I should never—
[LANGER stops laughing as abruptly as he started]
LANGER All right, so you’ve totally decided?
SHINTARO Yes.
[LANGER turns his back and, as SHINTARO walks away, rips up the letter without opening it .The lights dim on him as they come up on MAX, who is still where he was when we saw him last – steeling himself to close the door on the life he has known, while GLADYS and FUSCIA do what they can to cheer him.]
MAX When you have enough! That’s what she used to say. When I have enough!
FUCHSIA Enough what, Max?
MAX That’s when she was going to say, ‘I do.’
She didn’t want to be poor
anymore.
Shintaro’s father was only a farmer.
GLADYS He wasn’t only a farmer.
FUCHSIA Oh, no, Gladys, you’re quite right. No one’s only what they do.
GLADYS Unless what they do isn’t them.
MAX But they never had enough.
GLADYS Everything is not enough to some.
MAX Why did she have to die now!?
FUCHSIA Cheer up, Max.
GLADYS Yes, cheer up, Max.
MAX I could have coped with happiness,
Her soft, soft skin, her boyish looks.
I could have braved—endured—it all …
FUCHSIA But how …
MAX Oh how, all is hard and angled now.
FUCHSIA Max, you would have borne the apex of
The greatest feeling, and above …
GLADYS Her closeness in your arms …
FUCHSIA Nay, love.
GLADYS [To FUCHSIA] The pain of it would bear him up.
MAX But how …
GLADYS … Oh how.
FUCHSIA That was then …
MAX …. and this is now.
I would have, uncomplaining, set
a second plate, an extra towel.
FUCHSIA But nothing sits or hangs there now.
MAX Yet who, when he can be alone,
wants this? A girl to hug and roam?
I might have suffered such, but how …
GLADYS Oh how …
MAX …. all is back to normal now.
[Pause.]
FUCHSIA Who’ll tell the boy?
MAX I’ll tell the boy.
[MAX exits as the stage goes dark. The light comes up on boy SHINTARO, searching. Adult SHINTARO enters and watches his younger self.]
Boy SHINTARO Troy? Troy, where are you? Troy!
Adult SHINTARO He’s gone.
Boy SHINTARO How do you know?
Adult SHINTARO Because I find out a year older than you are now, when the new tenants move in, and my aunties invite them over. But when they visit, there is no Troy with them, or even knowledge of him.
Boy SHINTARO Troy was my friend.
Adult SHINTARO I know.
Boy SHINTARO My first friend ever.
Adult SHINTARO I know.
Boy SHINTARO And now he’s gone!
[Boy SHINTARO lunges to hug his older self.]
Adult SHINTARO Do you surrender?
Boy SHINTARO [Sobbing madly] Yes! Yes, I surrender!
[Adult SHINTARO extricates himself and walks away. Boy SHINTARO hurriedly dries his eyes as he sees MAX approaching.]
MAX So you didn’t catch a unicorn, my boy?
SHINTARO [Miserably] No.
MAX Shintaro, you’ve got to be strong. I know you can. You’re a strong lad.
SHINTARO How’s Mum?
MAX Shintaro, your mother passed away last night.
[SHINTARO looks first distraught, then resigned.]
SHINTARO It must be so nice to pass away.
MAX Shintaro!
SHINTARO I think I shall just die!
MAX My apologies, Shintaro. I shouldn’t treat you like a kid anymore. You’re growing up.
[MAX turns to where he sees FUCHSIA and GLADYS appearing, and then turns back to SHINTARO.]
Do you still want to catch a unicorn?
SHINTARO I don’t know that I do any more, Max.
MAX That’s good, that’s good.
Say, Shintaro, when you come of age—
but only when you come of age—
why don’t you work for me?
I say, why not come work for me?
We could always do
with a lad like you.
FUCHSIA Everyone could do with a lad like Shintaro.
MAX Especially now that his head doesn’t come unstuck so much,
and float about the room.
GLADYS And float off around the room.
MAX Yes, there’d always be room for a lad like you
In such a place as the place I work
Wearing a black-tie suit with a starch-white shirt.
MAX, GLADYS & FUCHSIA Yes, we could always do
With a lad like you,
Shintaro.
SHINTARO Are you going away too, Max?
MAX Well, there’s not much here.
GLADYS No, there’s not much here.
MAX Now that she’s gone,
FUCHSIA dead and gone,
GLADYS dead and buried,
MAX by Charon over River Styx is ferried,
FUCHSIA and in the underworld of Hades lies.
MAX Remember friends, remember when we die,
that dead is what the living will be nigh.
GLADYS Come, Shintaro, let’s see Max to the station.
MAX Don’t worry, son, you’ll see me again.
If not up high, perhaps below.
Who can know?
Nothing lasts forever
All things decay and rust
And what you could not find in the heavens,
You often find in the dust.
[Darkness envelopes SHINTARO, MAX, FUCHSIA and GLADYS as adult SHINTARO steps into a beam of light that has appeared the other side of stage. He gazes into the darkness where the others stand frozen. ESTELLE, REMI, CLAG and FROG appear around him.]
ESTELLE Today—
as I rode in my carriage
past lonely fields
and empty sheds
where the sheep and the goats and the cows in their beds
of clover green
butt their empty heads—
I saw our unicorn,
Quite forlorn.
REMI Why should he be forlorn?
ESTELLE Have a heart, Estelle. Our friend has been in search of something.
REMI Something or someone?
[UNICORN enters, not seeing SHINTARO, who is obscured behind the others.]
UNICORN Have you seen Shintaro?
REMI Ah.
ESTELLE He hasn’t been here for many a year.
UNICORN How do you catch a boy?
REMI You can’t catch a boy.
ESTELLE Besides, I understand
that he’s now a man.
UNICORN Who doesn’t dream?
ESTELLE Who cannot love to dream.
REMI, FROG & CLAG Who cannot love to dream …?
CLAG Long expected one-and-twenty
Years have passed – how time has flown!
Pain and pleasure, pricks and princes,
dear Shintaro, are your own.
[Adult SHINTARO steps forward.]
SHINTARO I love the times when I can sing
as phones, unanswered, left to ring,
ring on, ring endlessly.
CLAG Childhood now is all but over.
Adulthood has taken sway.
Still you can by make-believing
happy be and childish stay.
SHINTARO I love the days when, on my own,
I am not lonely, just alone,
The world, and light, and me.
CLAG For all who pause to ponder, query,
smart to see the world in pain.
Here, the prankster, sunny, leery;
there, the thinker swamped with rain.
SHINTARO I ache for times when we can be
within each others arms and see
just you and me, just you and me.
CLAG Words are best if short and fewer;
value friends who keep tight-lipped;
Be as open as a sewer;
Caution no one; take a dip.
[SHINTARO is about to speak but CLAG cuts him off.]
And when you’re forty-two, remember
half of that is twenty-one,
And that which is finished sooner
is earlier begun.
So if your uncle or your aunties,
tell you off for wilful waste,
Scorn the counsel, and their odour.
You can stink or wash at last!
[Pause.]
SHINTARO I love the times when I can sleep,
as others sleep, and not beweep
my dreams at break of dawn.
For when I dream, I dream of men
who rain on me their love and then
leave me my soul to mourn.
But why oh why
Oh why oh why.
It is only I that I defy
With a self-inflicted lie.
UNICORN I understand.
REMI What do you understand?
UNICORN That he is now a man.
ESTELLE Who at last can love to dream!
SHINTARO Brr, it’s cold. Why is it so? I remember this place as being warm.
ESTELLE Pity poor Shintaro, Shintaro’s a-cold.
CLAG Run on the spot whilst moving not
till the grass is bloodied with dirt.
FROG Green regrowth shall seal, then heal, the hurt.
ESTELLE This jaded city wakes today,
ignoring yesterday …
and may …
REMI Just may …
UNICORN, ESTELLE, REMI, CLAG & FROG
Live today!
[REMI, ESTELLE, CLAG and FROG gaze at each other before wordlessly agreeing that the moment is right for them to leave, en masse. UNICORN remains and ushers adult TROY onto stage. UNICORN departs. SHINTARO stares at TROY as recognition dawns.]
SHINTARO [Swivelling round] Troy!
TROY Hello, Shintaro.
SHINTARO Troy, in my heart I’ve looked for you ever so long.
I couldn’t have been less right and more wrong.
TROY [Grinning] I hope that’s true, Shintaro.
I really do.
[Having laid their feelings on the line, they both stand awkwardly, but happy.]
SHINTARO But you’re here? In the garden?
TROY [Laughing] Yes, Shintaro!
I knew about the garden, too.
It was never only you.
[They say nothing for a moment]
Unicorn was worried that you had left the garden forever. That you would never come back.
SHINTARO I know. I got a little… lost.
TROY When we’re young
we’re not dumb,
we’re the brightest ones.
When we’re old,
we’ve been told,
told off and learnt to scoff.
SHINTARO I’m not scoffing now.
[A sudden inspiration] Hey, let’s play your favourite game.
TROY And what was that?
SHINTARO “I surrender.”
[SHINTARO taps TROY on the shoulder.]
You’re it!
[SHINTARO remains standing on the spot.]
TROY [Slyly] You’re not running, Shintaro?
SHINTARO I guess I…
TROY [Grinning] Yes?
SHINTARO I guess I want to be caught.
The End.
Toco Productions 